Sunday, 22 March 2009

Life with grandma

Mothering Sunday seems a good time to reflect on life with grandma.

It is some time now since she moved in with us. I had not realised quite how difficult Anna would find it, having her mum living with us. It feels to her as though she is being watched, critically all the time.

Grandma finds it tough, too: we don't do things the way she would. She also finds it very isolating living in a small village in the middle of nowhere, and feels she has lost her independence, as she has to rely on Anna to drive her anywhere if she wants to go out.

However, she does see people who love her every day, and takes a lot of interest in the children and all their doings. So while she may complain at times, I am convinced she's much better off with us than she was on her own, when she could go for days without seeing a soul to talk to. She may have forgotten it, but she used to get very depressed and lonely on her own.

And although Anna and I can find it trying, at times, to have her always in the house, I am quite convinced it it the right thing to have done: not least as an education for the children.


berenike said...

Hah. A relative of mine, not quite all there, wrote hysterical letters to her sister about how terrible it was living with her father, he beat her, she couldn't stand it, she was going to kill herself. Sister, living a loooooooooong way away, managed to find a place for upset sister in a kind of self-help association house. Upset sister now rants and moans about how she hates it and how she wants to come home, and how her sister has shut her in a madhouse, etcetc. On the up side, she's not threatening suicide anymore ...

Ben Trovato said...

Yes, that sounds a familiar pattern.

Grandma, on a bad day, is prone to saying life's not worth living, but has never threatened suicide, I'm pleased to say.