The Postbag

Cardinals are, after all, very busy people. Moreover, sometimes the memory fails a bit. So it is not surprising that not every letter is answered.

Nonetheless, I thought it might be interesting to see the incoming postbag, even though none of these letters have yet been answered.

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Dear Cardinal

Why was Kieran Conry elevated to the episcopate when everyone knew?

Yours sincerely, 

Worried, of Arundel and Brighton

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Dear Cardinal

I am so pleased that I can now divorce my wife and shack up with my secretary, and know that within the year I will be OK with the Church again.

Thank you so much,

Amoroso, of Westminster

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Dear Cardinal

My dad has just left my mum for another man. When she asked him what the hell he thought the future held for them, he answered 'Who knows what's down the road?' 

She blames you.

Can you explain?

With love,

Distressed, of Hemel Hempstead


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Dear Cardinal

I was considering a career in the priesthood, but was reluctant to commit as I also quite like the ladies. Do I gather that is not an impediment and that I will still be able to claim to have done a good job if ever I am found out by the press, without fear of your contradicting that?

Yours,

Ambitious, of Coventry


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Dear Cardinal,

I want to send my son to Cardinal Vaughan School, but now it's like playing the Lottery!

Thanks for not very much.

A Practicing Catholic Parent, Acton


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Dear Cardinal

Thank you for your solicitous care for the LGBT? Community. Queering the Church is such an important mission, so we are grateful to you for your support, in face of all the oppression of those who would demonise us.

Love and kisses,

XXXX

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Dear Cardinal

I was going to write to ask your advice on amnesia, but I can't remember why.

Forgetfully,

Can't remember my name? Nor where I live nor how I voted nor when I knew.

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Dear Cardinal

Since my husband walked out on me, I have struggled to bring up our four kids on my own. I have worked hard to keep an amorous colleague, whom I really like, at a safe distance, as I don't want to risk any occasion of sin, or of scandal to my kids.

It is hard work and I am very lonely. I thought this was the right  thing to do, and I try to offer my sufferings up.

Am I a mug?

Yours,

Solitaria, North Finchley


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Dear Cardinal

You be good, and we won't tell. Capisce?

(unsigned)

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Dear Cardinal,

I have struggled with Same Sex Attraction for many years. 

I have not always managed to avoid falling into temptation, but I continue to try, and by frequent use of the Sacrament of Penance, I am gradually mastering my desires.

This has been a long and painful journey, but I have been encouraged by my parish priest, who has been both understanding of my personal struggles, and clear in expounding the teaching of the Church as found in the Catechism.

However, last Saturday, when I went to Confession and told him that I had nothing serious to confess, he was uncharacteristically upset, and suggested I might as well indulge my every desire. 

I was shocked and upset, after all I have been through, and we exchanged heated words. He referred me to you.

Can you explain?

Yours, 

A Struggling Sinner, Soho

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Dear Cardinal

My partner and I would like to apply for the jobs of Chief Executive and Head of PR at CAFOD.

We are very committed to Justice and Peace, extremely well-networked, and like some aspects of the Catholic Church's approach.  In fact my partner goes to Church when he visits his mum, as she is a practicing Catholic (he hasn't come out to her yet).

I understand that our (what I believe you call) irregular situation, and the fact that we demur from some of the Church's more demanding teachings are no bar to running a large Catholic organisation - as long as we keep the people in the pews in the dark, which I am sure we can manage between us.

And if you can find a bishop to celebrate a service for our anniversary, that would be lovely.

Yours,

Valentine, Eccleston Square