Poor souls

There is a heart-breaking column in last week’s Tablet.  It was a mother's reflections on her accepting attitude when her 16 year old son declared himself gay.  I started a fisk of the whole thing but it was unutterably depressing.  So much well-intentioned ignorance and error in such a short piece...

But my overwhelming response was simply how silly.

I mean, he's 'around sixteen'. He had apparently 'known' for some time.

I remember being that age. I observe Charlie at around that age. Boys that age are often uncomfortable around girls and very close to their (boy) friends.

To feel that one has to decide on one's sexuality at that age is unutterably sad - and quite possibly tragic.

I am sure that if I had declared myself gay at that age my mother would not have rejected me - but nor would she have accepted it as a fact and rejoiced in it.  She would have counselled me to wait and grow up a bit...

This myth that sexual orientation is innate and unchanging is by no means a scientific consensus.  It seems most likely that there are both genetic and situational/relational factors.  Given that, to accept it as both proven and immutable at the time in a boy's life when he is undergoing the major physical and emotional changes of adolescence seems foolhardy.

There is much more one could say about this article, about the comments made on it, and about the Tablet's role in this - but that must wait for another day...