Cosmic Relief

Tomorrow, as you will all doubtless be aware, is Red Bishop Day.

All over England and Wales, priests and people will don little red plastic mitres, and skip into Mass to the familiar sound of the unofficial theme tune of the Bishops' Conference: Bring on the Clowns.

This is part of the annual fundraising event, Cosmic Relief.

Some extremists have objected to Cosmic Relief, as some 10 % of the money raised has been used to purchase Weapons of Mass Destruction.

The Bishops' Conference have a two-fold answer to this:

1 - It is not true (or so they have been assured);

2 - Even if true, the other 90% goes to good causes, so surely that's OK.

As the Conference Spokeswoman quipped: The only Mass we're interested in destroying is the old Latin One. (Mass Destruction - get it?) What a wag!

So join in the fun and feel virtuous about supporting all sorts of good causes - and only a few profoundly evil ones.