Friday, 10 October 2008


It's now two months since grandma moved in with us, and it has not been uneventful.

She and Anna have a somewhat stormy relationship - all seems smooth on the surface but every now and then there is a major row.

I hate this, but neither of them seems to mind it. One of the dynamics is that grandma has to feel useful, so spends a lot of time cleaning, ironing, etc, and pointing out to Anna that if it weren't for her we couldn't cope (never mind that we coped perfectly well before she moved in).

Anna, of course, resents the implication that the house would be a tip but for her mum (though there is a little truth in that), and that she can't cope.

Also, grandma is very pro-Antonia, which can lead to her being unnecessarily critical of one of the others. It used to be Bernie who got the brunt of that, but now it is more frequently Charlie or Dominique. That's partly because Bernie has worked very hard at building her relationship with grandma - and showed great maturity in doing so.

So it's not always easy, but Anna and I are convinced it's the right thing to do - and when we step back and look at it, it is clear that grandma is much happier with us than she was on her own: she just doesn't always remember that herself...

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